Hello, all my fashion divas and gurus! I am so sorry it has been a while. To be honest, I am going through many changes in my life both professionally and personally.
Personally, I am currently going through a divorce. Divorce is not easy. It involves so many elements. Divorce is also a financial burden. The cost is high. Changing my name back is going to be tedious. Divorce is mainly about reflecting and coming to terms with the end of something that you devoted your time to. It also an end to something that was not healthy mentally and physically. Marriage changes you. For me, I lost myself. I lost myself in food and in my ex-husband. I became so wrapped up in someone, I forgot myself and to follow my instinct- I will talk about that in a separate post.
Another change happening is that I am moving. I like living at home with my family. I have my own space and the fridge is always stocked. The truth is the commute is insane and costly. Commuting from the jersey shore to north jersey is an hour and a half trip - one way. A train pass is almost $500 dollars a month. I make ok money with my current day job but this commute is too much. Though my mom wants me to stay home forever - I am the youngest so it comes with the territory. I could be using that time and money establishing my brand, developing my projects, attending events, and working on myself. My hometown is a safe haven but I realized I need to become my own safe haven.
So, after much searching, calling, and stressing. I have a new place. I will be moving officially out mid-April. I am excited and nervous about it. Moving is a big deal. I am not just moving physical but also spiritual and mentally to a better place in life.
Professionally, I am working on being more consistent with the Heavy on Fashion brand, getting back into the freelance writing world, documenting my journey and posting that on social media, developing and publishing my books, collaborating on a few other book/comic projects, and finally reopening the Heavy on Fashion eBay store.
Sidenote: The eBay will be open with new merchandise tonight, around 8/9pm- crossed fingers - if not tomorrow evening. Here is the link - https://www.ebay.com/usr/heavyonfashion
Whether it was focusing on others' goals, procrastinating on my own goals, or just being stuck and complacent, I realized that I have not been executing at my brand and vision to its full potential. For a while, I was investing my energy into something that was not giving me a return on investment. So, I am now putting more effort into my craft and talents (writing/photography/art/creative) and less into things that are temporary. Reenveluting my time and efforts are becoming a big revelation for me. Investing more time in myself will involve earlier days and later nights, but it will be worth it in the end.
Shout out to my therapist on Talkspace - your the real MVP, the Gary Vee podcast, Amanda Seales Instagram account - some serious gems in there, How Does She Do It Podcast (especially episode with Marshawn Evans Daniels), Tony Robbin's podcast, Side Hustle Pro podcast, my coworkers ( these ladies are so wise beyond their years, I learned so much about myself through your words, humour and actions, thank you), my family (thanks you always have my back when I forgot that I need someone to watch it especially when I am being a Malan, and a special someone (Thank you helping find me again, teaching me to trust and love myself again, and teaching me how to be more empathic to others).
2018, for me, is a year of manifesting, changing and growing. I will be talking about some really deep shit. Some petty shit. I will be cursing a lot more. I will still be doing some fashion and beauty stuff but a lot more about my life and journey. I feel that I am more than just runway shows and facial cremes. I am messy wigs, bling nails, crystal lover, chunky peanut butter on Matzos eater, comic/anime binger with a love for cheap wine and expensive Tequila. I hope you will be joining me on this journey.
Welcome to Heavy on Fashion!